Do You Listen to Your Spouse?

Do you tune out your spouse, or half-listen to him/her?  I'll tell my husband about plans I have made for us, and a few days later I'll remind him.  He'll swear I never told him about those plans.  He'll be talking to me as I'm leaving the room, and I'll walk back to him asking, "What was that?"

He says I never listen to him, and I say I didn't hear him because I was running water, he had his back to me while he was talking, or I thought we were done talking and I'd already walked out of the room.  lol  We laugh about this all the time and wonder if we're losing our memory, or is it really the excuses we give. 

It could be age, but I don't think that's the whole answer. All of us live busy lives, and it's hard to slow down and listen to those around us.  We often listen with half an ear while doing something else.  It's easier to listen to a friend that you only see once in awhile than to a spouse you spend day and night with. 

My husband and I love each other, and we tell each other often, but we could spend more time listening to one another.  Smile!

What do you and your spouse do?  I'll be eager to hear comments on this. 

Have a great week, and I'll see you next weekend.

Best always,

Sandra K. Marshall

http://www.eirelanderpublishing.com
http://www.skaymarshall.com

All about Love

I'm behind this week, so I'm posting a blog I posted elsewhere last week.  So sorry!

Valentine's Day is coming up soon, and although I'm not an authority on love I'm a romantic suspense author who writes about love.  The old saying: Love thy neighbor as you do yourself comes to mind.  Who do you love?

There are many different kinds of love. For instance, love between spouses, love between parents and their children, love between siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles, grandchildren and a whole slew of people.  I love everyone even those I don't really like because I care what happens to them.

In many cases there are varying degrees of affection for the people you care about.  Of course, you're going to love those who are the closest to you like your husband, children and other family members, but there's always room for others. 

Friends come to mind for me and I have several lifelong friends.  I have great affection for them, or I wouldn't have stayed in touch with them. You can love neighbors who become friends when you have lived next to them for years. 

Is it possible to love someone who hurts you?  I draw the line at loving people who abuse others physically or mentally, but I write about them in my stories.  I even humanize them with some background about them, but I can't care for them in their present lives because they chose the wrong path.  Or in my stories, the path I chose for my character.  This is when you have to care and love the victim.

I love my hubby more than anyone.  When my mother was alive it was a tossup between hubby and mom because I loved them both equally, although, in totally different ways.  My siblings and children are next in line, and then the rest of the family, friends, etc. 

Who matters most to you?

Sandra K. Marshall

http://www.eirelander-publishing.com
http://www.sandramarshallblog.blogspot.com  

What Are You Most Thankful For?

We have just a few days left before we celebrate Thanksgiving.  It's a day that we give thanks for whatever we are thankful for. 

I'm thankful to have a husband and family who love me. I'm grateful I'm not living on the streets instead I have a house to live in, especially during the cold of winter and heat of summer.  I'm blessed to have food to eat and not to know what hunger is like.    

Last but not least, I'm thankful to be born and to live in America.  I could not have achieved what I have here in any other country.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Best always,
Sandra K. Marshall
http://www.skaymarshall.com
http://www.eirelander-publishing.com
Facebook - http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1496954556
Twitter - http://www.twitter.com/SandraKMarshall

The Alpha Male

What is an alpha male? He is a man who takes charge. When thrown in a tough situation he takes action, the alpha male doesn’t wait for the problem to get bigger. He takes over. I’m being repetitive, but I can’t emphasize this enough when it comes to this guy.

Who is the alpha male? He is your husband, brother, son, father, brother-in-law, a neighbor, a co-worker, or anyone. I’m not saying all men are alpha males, but enough of them are so that you feel safe with them when the going gets difficult. They are the ones who take care of their spouses, girlfriends, children when they are in danger.

Why do readers want them in the books they read? Most women want a hero, a person, who is there for them when they are needed. Here is the rub. The alpha male is a take charge kind of man, and he doesn’t turn that attitude off and on at will in real life. So although readers want to read about this guy they may not want one in their real lives all the time. That’s right ladies; we want to see a tender side in our men sometimes. lol

Being a writer, I can provide that for you in the hero of my story. That’s because I’m in charge and not him. Lol It all goes back to women wanting to change their men and make them the way we think they should be. That just isn’t going to happen in real life.

Even in fiction, the hero has his faults and this can be what causes the conflicts in the story. It’s working through those conflicts that a woman likes in a book. It gives her hope that there really is a man like that out there.

The alpha male is succinct in his speech whereas women take longer to get the same thought out, and most men don’t have patience with long winded people. Lol Can an alpha male be tender and soft? Oh yes, he can. Even that grouchy husband of yours, father or son who says, “yeah or whatever” instead of using complete sentences can throw you for a loop when you least expect it. That’s when you know why you love them in the first place.

We all have our alpha males, and all we have to do is remember the good things about them rather than their faults. Grin. I have the perfect one for me.

This is my opinion why people like to read romances about the alpha hero, but do you have a different reason why you like to read them.

Until next Sunday have a good week.

Sandy

What Are Some of the Things that Irritate You?

There are many things that upset me, and some of them aren’t really important. For instance, my husband opens a drawer to his dresser and doesn’t close it (he’s gotten better over the years). He used to come into the house after work taking off clothes and dropping them through the house as he walked to the bedroom. I did eventually convince him it would be better to drop them all in one spot in the bedroom, which he does now.

You are probably asking yourselves why I didn’t teach him to put his clothes in the hamper by now. The answer to that is, I tried, but that didn’t take. Grin. I just learned to live with it. There are other things that he does that annoy me, but I am going to give the poor guy a break and not make this post about him.

Something else that stirs me up is people who complain or are negative all the time. I am an optimistic person and pessimistic people can get me down in the dumps if I’m around them too much. My husband is a complainer, but he’s not depressing, so you would think after all these years I would have learned when he is badmouthing a driver in front of him. Of course, he complains about other things, too. Oop. So much for not being about the hubby. Smile.

There is one thing that really irritates me. I hate to start saying something and have someone interrupt me before I have a chance to get the words out of my mouth. At times, I only say a few words before I am cut off. It makes me furious, but who are the rude people who do this?

Families are the worse culprits. I remember my mother saying she could never get in a word around her mother and her sister. Friends get to laughing and talking so fast, they try to speak over one another. You and I are also guilty. I don’t know of anyone who doesn’t do it at one time or another.

When is enough, enough? If it becomes so rude that it irritates the hell out of everyone. Usually, everyone let’s the person or persons take over and keep their frustrations to themselves. There are those people who know it all, and since they do, you know nothing.

Okay, I admit that sometimes I can’t get the information out the way I want to. Oops! That goes back to not being able to finish what I was saying in the first place. Are we as a people becoming bad-mannered, or have we always been rude? Once upon a time, I was much more courteous and a better listener than I am now. Since I’ve become busier and more rushed I have become discourteous by saying curt words, or brushing people off.

These are just a few things that get my dander roused. Since I know I interrupt people, I’m going to try harder not to. What irritates you and do you do them, too?

Have a great week everyone. I’ll see you next Sunday.

Sandy