Sunday, October 11, 2009

The Alpha Male

What is an alpha male? He is a man who takes charge. When thrown in a tough situation he takes action, the alpha male doesn’t wait for the problem to get bigger. He takes over. I’m being repetitive, but I can’t emphasize this enough when it comes to this guy.

Who is the alpha male? He is your husband, brother, son, father, brother-in-law, a neighbor, a co-worker, or anyone. I’m not saying all men are alpha males, but enough of them are so that you feel safe with them when the going gets difficult. They are the ones who take care of their spouses, girlfriends, children when they are in danger.

Why do readers want them in the books they read? Most women want a hero, a person, who is there for them when they are needed. Here is the rub. The alpha male is a take charge kind of man, and he doesn’t turn that attitude off and on at will in real life. So although readers want to read about this guy they may not want one in their real lives all the time. That’s right ladies; we want to see a tender side in our men sometimes. lol

Being a writer, I can provide that for you in the hero of my story. That’s because I’m in charge and not him. Lol It all goes back to women wanting to change their men and make them the way we think they should be. That just isn’t going to happen in real life.

Even in fiction, the hero has his faults and this can be what causes the conflicts in the story. It’s working through those conflicts that a woman likes in a book. It gives her hope that there really is a man like that out there.

The alpha male is succinct in his speech whereas women take longer to get the same thought out, and most men don’t have patience with long winded people. Lol Can an alpha male be tender and soft? Oh yes, he can. Even that grouchy husband of yours, father or son who says, “yeah or whatever” instead of using complete sentences can throw you for a loop when you least expect it. That’s when you know why you love them in the first place.

We all have our alpha males, and all we have to do is remember the good things about them rather than their faults. Grin. I have the perfect one for me.

This is my opinion why people like to read romances about the alpha hero, but do you have a different reason why you like to read them.

Until next Sunday have a good week.



K.T. Bishop said...

I always love the alpha man because he sets the tone in everything that involves him (romance novels, home, work, etc. etc.). You can have the beta man....

Paris said...

Let's just say that I like my alphas smart enough to realize that the heroine is not just a place holder in his story. She's the reason he's there!

EmilyBryan said...

"The sensitive ones always get eaten." ~ IceAge

If a man is overly concerned about what other people think about him, if he frets over whether or not he's popular, if he worries about hurting someone's feelings when he's trying to make things better for them, he's really a girl in disguise.

Sandy said...

Well, K.T., you're obviously an alpha male. lol

Thanks for stopping by.

Sandy said...

Good for you, Paris. No woman should be a place mat for a man. lol

Thanks for coming by.

Sandy said...

ROFLMAO Oh my, Emily, that was so funny.

No alpha male angsts over what to do, he just does it. Nor does he care what he looks like. I have to lay clothes out for alpha male if I want him to look decent for a special occasion. Grin.

Stacey Joy Netzel said...

Sandy, I've often said that I do like a take charge man in a book, but when my hubby tries to totally take charge, I get a little irritated. I am not helpless. :) A little bit of beta in any man is not a bad thing in my opinion.

My sister recently said, "I have a complaint about your books. Or really, romance books in general. I love them, but it's really depressing that life is just not like that. Men aren't like the guys in books."

I looked over at her and said, "Why the heck do you think I write romance?" And we laughed.

Elle J Rossi said...


Great post. I want to make sure I phrase this right. I believe that even though, as women, we want independence and strength we still want to feel like women. If we have to do everything--and most of us do--it really starts to change the role.

I hope that makes sense.


Sandy said...


Thanks for your great comment. You're so right, we're not helpless. I used to have the oil changed in my car before I got married, and then my husband decided it was his job. lol Now, he's reversed his decision and it's my job again.

Women are supposedly the only ones who change their minds all the time. Grin.

Sandy said...


That makes perfect sense. Responsibilities should be divided in a relationship so no one person carries the load.

Thanks, Elle.

Donna Marie Rogers said...

Sandy, I do love my Alpha Heroes. :-) And I have no problem if my man wants to take charge in real life as well...maybe because he rarely does...LOL I'm always the one in charge of a situation. So on those rare occasions when he actually makes a decision without asking me "Well, what do you think?" over and over, or pulls out the heavy sleeper sofa for company instead of assuming there's no reason I can't do it (*grin*), I'm thrilled. ;-)

Christie Craig said...

Great post, Sandra.

All my heroes are a tad macho, but they have very soft centers. I think a man can be alpha and still be compromising. I think it easier for men to be this way in fiction than in real life, but I can tell you that my hubby can be a tad macho about some things, but on others, he's a marshmellow.

Z(Aasiyah/Nolwynn) said...

Hey Sandy

Good post. I love the Alpha man, landed me one too, and I write the Alpha hero because it is, to me, how men are and how men are supposed to be. He's got his faults, his flaws, his totally-cannot-live-with sides, but he's also a human being, a person with a heart and soul, and that, I think, is why romance is so popular - because the Alpha is bossy and take charge but he is not afraid to show what he's made up of inside, this side all men think they have to hide or squelch in real life.

Heroes or romantic fiction are heroes to us women because they embrace all that a man should be - strong, courageous, take charge, human, loving, and vulnerable too when he lets his guards down. Frankly, what's more vulnerable than baring your heart and entrusting it to someone else?

Hope this ramble made sense!



Lyn Cash said...

One of the best pieces of advice I had when I first began writing was from "Deana James" (historical author), who said: Remember that your hero has his faults and that your villain has his reasons. Loved it, never forgot it.

hugs...Sunny Lyn

Liena Ferror said...

I found myself a good alpha male and I like to read them in my stories as well. I like my heroes to have bite and my heroines to bite back. Then kiss and makeup of course!

Great post, Sandy.


Sandy said...


My hubby thinks I'm so helpless that I can't do anything. lol The only time I'm really that helpless is when I have computer problems. lol He can handle all that. Grin.

Sandy said...


My hubby can be a marshmellow in the center, too. He loves animals, children and me, so he will take care of us. He's very macho, and I've had to tone him down a bit over the years. Smile.

Sandy said...

Z, you made perfect sense. Yes, the macho man definitely show their vulnerbility when they say I love you, and then wait for our response.

Most men have their softer spots and mine does, too. He may have faults, but the goodness in him more than makes up for it.

Sandy said...


Thanks for coming by.

I didn't get that advice from the same person you did, but I have been following it, as you'll see when my next book comes out.

Sandy said...

Thanks for your comment, Liena.

We all want a little bite now and then. lol It's always fun to make up.

Vanessa Kelly said...

I love the alpha male hero, Sandy - it's the combination of take charge tough guy who will also do anything to protect those he loves that makes him so very appealing. And there's nothing better than the alpha male meeting his match in a strong heroine.

Mary Jo said...


I read romance because I believe in happy endings and want them, even when real life doesn't concur. As for Alpha Heroes? Love them too, especially when they have an equally strong female at their side. Seeing how they find their balance to make things work makes part of the sizzle for me. :-)

Sandy said...

I so agree with you on the alpha male meeting his match. My hubby met his when he married me. lol I know I can depend on him in all instances, and he can depend on me.

I still think he looks great.

Sandy said...

Oh, Mary Jo, you're so right about the alpha male needs a strong female at his side for the balance.

We have equality in our stories and compromise.

J Hali said...

Hey Sandy, late again but can't miss one of your blogs! I want an alpha male with an on-and-off button - do they have those?

Great post as usual.

Sandy said...

LOL No, Joann, they don't have those.

Thanks for coming by.

Dawné Dominique said...

I like a man to take charge in certain instances, and I can honestly say that I do have one of those. My Hubby knows quite well that I can take care of myself, but because we've been together so long, he can sense if and when I need a little help. The Alphas in my novels are very much structured after my husband, including his sarcastic humor. But deep down, every gal wants a strong, protective partner, especially when snuggling beneath the sheets...while reading...or whatever. : )

Sandy said...

LOL Yeah, whatever, Dawne.

Thanks for coming by and leaving a comment.