Sunday, October 21, 2012

Why Do Kids Bully Others?

We raise our kids to be mentally and physically strong; to stand up for themselves and for others. The key is we tell our children to stand up for themselves, but we must also teach them it's there duty to defend those who can't. 

It's a shame that children are bullied.  Sometimes, they are even picked on by their families.  Often these parents think this will make the child stronger, but often it becomes a form of abuse, and the kid becomes an abuser.

When I was young, I was teased but that teasing was gentle compared to what goes on these days. It has advanced to something more than verbal.  With technology, the child can't get away from the bullying because it's on social media like FB or Twitter.

What is causing this horrible trend?  Movies like Mean Girls and some shows on television glamorize bullies and make young people think this is the thing to do.  Parents don't have time to give attention to their kids. 

When I was a child there were family dinners, and we ate together and talked about what was going on in our lives.  We played games after the dishes were done, and we laughed and talked.

These days the lives of children and everyone are stressful.  What do think needs to be done to stop bullying?

Thank you for visiting my blog.  Have a wonderful week, and I'll see you next Sunday. 

Sandra K. Marshall


K.T. Bishop said...

I've worked for bullies and had some in the family. They, by history, were bullied and became a bully when their chance came. It's a sign of their insecurity!

DonicaCovey said...

I was bullied all through school. I went to a "Christian" school with many kids I also attended church services with. Adults were no help because "kids will be kids" was a prevolent attitude even eld by school counselors. The scars are still there. My self esteem was something I struggled with and every once in a whie I still waver. Suicide was even a consideration once. My best friend kept me strong, sane and safe. After almost 30 years she's still there. Some of the mean kids have apologized for their treatment in recent years, which meant a lot but it doesn't take away the scars, just maes them less visible.

Parents: if your child comes to you LISTEN TO THEM! They are counting on YOU to protect them.

If you're a victim: Please try to hang on! I KNOW its hard and it's painful but you are amazing and have your life ahead of you.


Linda LaRoque said...

Education should begin early and bullying shouldn't be tolerated even in preschool. As a ex-teacher, many of the bullies I saw were students who needed to hurt others to feel good about themselves.

My grandson just moved from a Catholic school to public school because of a bullying situation. Like Donica, he went to church with the kids but he didn't start kindergarten with them. He's a 3rd grader and a girl in the class has been hitting him for 3 years. He finally got tired of it and put his hand in her chest and shoved. Of course, she said he hit her. He went to ISS for a day and a half and she got nothing.

Yes, I know that some give and take is necessary for kids to adjust, but when the principal isn't getting the whole story and punishes one and not the other, it's not fair. He is loving public school.

Sandy said...

KT, thank you for your comment. I agree many who are bullied become bullies.

Donica, I'm so sorry to hear about the abuse you faced during your school days. At least, some of your schoolmates realized what they did to you and apologized.

Linda, I'm sorry to hear about your grandson. What a shame it was a church school, but there's been a lot of abuse in the Catholic church. Hopefully, it will be stopped.

Anonymous said...

My thoughts on bullying? Start teaching respect for others as soon as a child starts communicating. As for ourselves, remind ourselves and others of the golden rule: do unto others as you would want to be treated.

DeanY said...

I was bullied and stood up for others who were bullied. I think most children who become bullies learned their art in their family, eg put downs, being told they are not good enough, etc or never measuring up, jealousy of the child they are picking on.
The adults who look the other way only help to promote the negative behavior and should be dealt with for their encouragement of abuse.
I work with people who have been abused as children and adults, I become very upset with others continue the abuse.
Parents need to teach their child that bulling is abuse and should never be done. But the general public has been change by our media, movies, television, newspapers need to change their focus from being ok or promoting abusiveness.

Marianne Stephens said...

Bullies succeed because they're not stopped by parents, schools, those in positions of authority. As adults, we have to listen when kids say they're being bullied and not let it escalate. It's our job to protect kids, and teach bullies how to respect others.

Sandy said...

Oh, I agree totally with you, Casey. Thank you!

DeanY, I agree that bullying is abuse. Thank you for your comment.

Marianne, I agree it's our job to protect kids. Unfortunately, those who are supposed to do the protecting don't. A huge shame when we fail.

Bobbie (Sunny) Cole said...

Good topic and responses. Thanks for sharing.

Sandy said...

Thank you for coming by, Sunny. It's unfortunate that it's a neccessary topic.

Carol Ericson said...

Sandy, I have two teenaged boys and they were never bullied or bullies. My husband always told our boys when they were little that they had a right to defend themselves if anyone ever got physical with them. Neither of them either got into fights, but I think they always made it clear that they wouldn't take any teasing lying down! My older son stuck up for his smaller friend once when he was being bullied. And my younger son, even though he's in the "popular" clique always makes a point to be friendly with all sorts of kids. We just try to teach them to have respect for everyone even if everyone isn't going to be your best buddy or someone you hang with.

Ilona Fridl said...

I really think schools should come down hard on these types. Also, parents should be alerted on what their child is doing. You can't just walk away from the bullying anymore with all the social media.

Sandy said...

Carol, we need more kids like your boys. Yay for them.

I agree with you about the schools, Ilona. It's unfortunate that the parents don't always back the schools when they do.

Judy said...

And it's still going on out there. Bullying. A friend of mine's son is enduring this crap. Middle School seems to be the worst. Okay, it's hormones outta control. Not a good excuse but likely the start of it.
My thoughts on bullying believe it comes from home. Parents were bullied, are bullies, bully their kids and the kids bully others. But this has been going on since ancient times. So of course I wrote a story about 'The Birth of a Bully" where my character in my novel gets his bullying attitude. Check it out and let me know what you think. It's on Amazon.