We are going to discuss grudges today. Are you a grudge holder? I’m one of these people who explode and gets over it in about five minutes. Now, that can be a good thing, or not. That depends on the person who got the butt end of that explosion.
My hubby used to get mad and stay mad for several hours or a day or two. Early in our marriage, he learned I wouldn’t allow that. If I made a mistake, I wasn’t afraid to tell him I was sorry. It‘s easier to hold onto a grudge after a major fight than to let go of your anger. If I wasn’t able to teach my hubby anything but this one thing, I’m glad it was that it’s not worth it to hold a grudge or stay mad forever. Now, he gets over being mad almost as fast as I do. Smile. At least, he does with me.
To give you an instance of staying mad for a long time, I know a woman who didn’t speak to her brother for twenty years. That one was over money. Many grudges are within families and they can last a very long time. Sometimes, they are over hurt feelings, finances, assumed knowledge that they know something they don’t when they probably only know a portion of whatever they think they know, which is probably not their business anyway, and numerous other reasons.
My family had their share of squabbles, but they still could associate with one another at family gatherings and are always there for each other. We are huggers when we’re together. I know of families who never speak to one another unless they come together for a funeral or a wedding.
My hubby and sister don’t exactly get along, but they do when they get together. I think they are too much alike to ever really get along. He bitches a lot because he thinks she’s bossy. Lol My opinion is that they both are, and for absolutely the same reasons. Sorry honey and sis. You know I love you both. My sister swore she would never let a man walk over her like our father did our mother, and my hubby won’t let any woman treat him like some others have.
Do grudge holders ever get over it? Quite often, they don’t until it’s too late. The woman who didn’t speak to her brother for twenty years got a call from her sister-in-law to let her know he was ill. They started speaking again and they had about two or three years left to get reacquainted.
Once a woman got mad at her niece over some pictures she thought were being given to her. The person who showed them to her intended them for her husband’s sister, and not for this woman. The woman stopped speaking to her niece even though she was told the pictures weren’t for her. Fortunately, someone stepped in and was able to convince her not to stay mad, and she was glad she hadn’t remained mad because her niece died soon after.
When I was a kid, I learned early not to hold grudges. It was hard because sometimes other kids are mean. As I grew older and held a job, it was an advantage not to hold a grudge, and even if I didn’t feel like talking to someone I made myself speak in a normal tone to them. To do that always made it easier to heal our hurt feelings.
Are you a grudge holder? Does your family hold grudges? We would love to hear about the grudge holders you know.
Next week, I will be in Colorado. I hope to post a blog from there, but if I forget you’ll be free from listening to my ramblings for a whole week. Wink!
Have a good week everyone.