Happy Father’s Day!
Today, I’m blogging about different kinds of fathers, some good, some mediocre, and then the really bad ones. When I get done with my examples let me know where you father falls in the mix.
Here’s my idea of a good father. He provides a home, food, and clothing for his family for sure. The man puts in overtime to make more money to provide for extras for them. He spends time playing, talking and possibly building something for his children when he’s not working. He hands out discipline when it is needed, and when he’s home to give it.
Okay, the men who represent good fathers to me are my Uncle Ray, my brother-in-law, Jon, my hubby and our son, Mike. All right, all right, so they aren’t perfect. We know no one is perfect, don’t we?
Uncle Ray worked way too many hours in his business, and if he ever dished discipline I never saw it, but he always played with his boys, his nieces, and nephew. He attended his oldest son’s sports events, took the family camping and went to church. He provided a lovely home, food, and clothing for his family. His one fault is that he burnt the candle at both ends and died young at forty-eight trying to please everyone. In the end, he was not able to be there for his family..
My brother-in-law, Jon, ranks up there as a good father. He worked hard providing a home, food and clothing for his family. He attended his daughters’ sports, singing and dancing events. He played all kinds of games with them, attended church with them, and was always willing to listen to them. He’s always been there to help his children even as they grew into adults. His fault is that he never disciplined his kids, and that was all left to their mother. Lol There always has to be one bad parent.
My hubby, Ron, ranks up there, too, even though I didn’t see him with his children when they were young. He worked hard to provide a home, food and clothing for his family. Like all fathers’ including the two above, he built a patio and worked in the yard. He played catch with his boys, and convinced his oldest son he should have a part-time job to make spending money. Lol Ron was a worker, and that is really all he knew how to do, so that was mostly what he did with his kids. His job required him to have seniority to get special days off, and because of that he was prevented from attending his children’s activities and special events when they were young. In those days, people were honest and didn’t call in sick. They needed and valued their jobs. The lucky guy was the soul disciplinarian. His one fault that I saw was that he was a nagger. He went over the same thing over and over with his kids. I especially saw this with him, and his youngest daughter and son. For some reason, once wasn’t enough to get through to them. Lol
Our son, Mike, is another good father. He worked hard to provide all the necessities and more for his family. He played with his children, took his son fishing, attended all their school activities and was there for them all the time. If he dished out discipline I never saw it, but I’m sure he talked to his kids. Did he talk as much as his father did to him? Only, our grandchildren know that answer. Grin. His one fault was he wasn’t a handy man. Sorry, Mike. Love you!
Now, we’re getting to the mediocre fathers. These were difficult because some people would consider them bad fathers, but there are even worse fathers than these.
My father is one of these. He tried to provide a home, food and clothing for us when we were kids, but in truth he didn’t do any of these things. My maternal grandparents provided our house and grandma made our clothes. My mom raised chickens to provide food for us and to make extra money to buy other food items. Dad gave mom grocery money, but it was never enough. The things I remember most doing with my father, although fun when I was young, were mostly his fun things. For instance, he liked going to field trials with his dogs (our mom made these into picnics for us kids) and he liked playing pool and partying (none of which we enjoyed), but he would buy us ice cream cones. He was fun to be around. Did he work? Yes, he drove a truck and was out of state a lot. He would give his shirt off his back to a stranger, but often didn’t provide enough food for his family. He was mostly out of my life after I turned thirteen. His biggest fault was he was abusive. I had the belt taken to me until I was lying on the floor still being beaten with my mother trying to stop him. He never ever hit my mother. I will defend my father a bit because he grew up with a father who did the same. Then at nine his father died and he was left to fend for himself because his mother remarried and her new husband wouldn’t raise her children.
This next father I’m not going to give a name to. This father has provided a home, clothing and food for his children. His twenty-one year old daughter is dying of esophageal cancer and he’s in denial. He’s an alcoholic and his daughter is in the last six to eight weeks of her life needing twenty-four hour care. He will not allow hospice to come to their home because that would mean she’s dying, so they have a visiting nurse. The visiting nurse has shown everyone how to give the young woman her pain meds through a port and how to flush it out. The father is sleeping on the floor beside the hospital bed, but when he goes to sleep from drinking too much his daughter cannot wake him when she needs him. She fell on the steps trying to get to the restroom and called for help, but couldn’t wake her dad. Her dad can’t do the meds, and she has to either do them herself or suffer when he’s with her. You may ask where her mother is, but her birth mother has been out of the picture for a very long time, and she’s an alcoholic, too. The step-mom (the father and her are divorced) is trying to make sure someone is with her stepdaughter at all hours, but she has no rights, and she has a job. None of the good fathers would ever allow alcohol to stand in their way of taking care of a dying daughter.
Next, are the bad fathers and I’ve never known any of these. These men might be called monsters even. These men break the bones of their small children and are way beyond abusive. Some of these men have raped their children, even killed them. I’ve never met a father like this, but I have heard of them. We have been lucky indeed if we didn’t have a father like these men.
One other I’m going to add is that all of us are a product of our environment or of our genetics.
Tell me about your father and where he falls in this mix.
Until next Sunday, have a great week.