When Do You Know You Aren't In Love Anymore?

Is it when you say, 'I hate you,' stop communicating, run around on each other, or is it because you just gave up?   There's a thin line between hate and love, so it would be something that could go either way.  Although, it's not uncommon for you to really dislike your spouse one minute and love them the next. 

Communication is always important, but even then it's still possible to still love someone and not communicate as much as you once did.  Usually, it's a sign of taking each other for granted.  Sometimes all it takes is finding a new interest to do together to start you talking to one another. 

Even if one spouse runs around on the other it doesn't mean they don't love you; they might just be a little bored with you, or you're not providing something they need.  A couple like this could work it out if they want to. 

Giving up is the most common reason for why marriages don't last.  People get mad and they quit working at their marriage.  It's so much easier to quit on a relationship than to work at it, and I guarantee it takes work in any relationship. 

There are times when you can't love someone anymore.  For instance, someone you love turns out to be abusive; it's time to get out then.  Your partner murders another person; it's time to get out. 

 

In my new soon to be released short story, All Bets Are Off, the heroine has a gambling addiction, which nearly costs her husband his business.  Would you still love someone who did that to you?

Could you trust them again? 

Thank you for reading.  Have a great week, and I'll see you next Sunday.

Sandra K. Marshall, Author

@ Eirelander Publishing
http://www.eirelanderpublishing.com
http://www.skaymarshall.com
https://www.facebook.com/sandra.marshall.98
http://www.amazon.com/author/sandramarshall

Are Memories of Events Accurate?

Most people have so-called flashbulb memories of where they were and what they were doing when something momentous happened: the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, say, or the explosion of the space shuttle Challenger. (Unfortunately, staggeringly terrible news seems to come out of the blue more often than staggeringly good news.) But as clear and detailed as these memories feel, psychologists find they are surprisingly inaccurate.

Eye witness accounts are often unreliable.  There are cases where a person has ended upon death roll and the person is innocent.  Here is one such case:  A man was convicted of rape and murder of a child in 1984 by five eye witnesses.  After serving 9 years in prison, DNA proved him not guilty.  Such devastating mistakes by eyewitnesses are not rare according to a report by the Innocence Project.

 

Memories are stored in a region of the brain called the hippocampus, shown in red in this computer illustration.  Photo by Researchers, Inc.

Researchers have known for decades that memories are unreliable.  They're particularly adjustable when actively recalled because at that point they're pulled out of a stable molecular state.  Last spring, scientists published a study performed at the University of Washington in which adult volunteers completed a survey about their eating and drinking habits before age 16.  A week later, they were given personalized analyses of their answers that stated - falsely - that they had gotten sick from rum or vodka as a teen.  One in five not only didn't notice the lie, but also recalled false memories about it and rated that beverage as less desirable than they had before.  Studies like these point to possible treatments for mental health problems.  Both PTSD and addiction disorders hing on memories that can trigger problematic behaviors, such as crippling fear caused by loud noises or cravings brought about by the sight of drug paraphernalia.

Childhood memories are often inaccurate.  We can be led to believe almost anything if we are told the same thing over and over again. Memory is not like a video recorder, recording every moment of our lives in accurate detail. It is a murky, complex system that can be manipulated as research shows.  There have been cases where a psychologist or psychiatrist has led a child to believe sexual abuse happened to them when it didn't.  An ordinary adult can manipulate and convince others something happened in their childhood that didn't, or at least not the way they remember it.

Hypnosis is, also, and inaccurate tool, but yet has been heavily relied on.  Okay, my question for all of you:  Is your memory of events accurate, or twisted?  I know for a fact that my siblings and I have different memories.  Life is too short to allow bad memories to live in your mind, especially, when they mostly inaccurate. 

Sources:  http://www.popsci.com/article/science/how-scientists-are-learning-shape-our-memory, http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/do-the-eyes-have-it/, http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/04/03/how-easily-is-your-memory-manipulated/, http://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/how-our-brains-make-memories-14466850/?no-ist, http://phys.org/news139159412.html and http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/01/140127093027.htm

Thank you for reading.  Have a great week, and I'll see you again next Sunday.

Sandra K. Marshall, Author

@ Eirelander Publishing
http://www.eirelanderpublishing.com
http://www.skaymarshall.com

Happy Father's Day!

To all father's out there, I wish you a very pleasant Father's Day.  This day is not a national holiday, and it was mostly started because of Mother's Day. 

A woman called Sonora Smart Dodd was an influential figure in the establishment of Father's Day.  Her father raised six children by himself after the death of their mother.  This was uncommon at the time, as most widowers placed their children in the care of others, or quickly remarried. 

Sonora was inspired by the work of Anna Jarvis, who has pushed for Mother's Day celebrations.  Sonora felt her father deserved recognition for what he had done.  The first time Father's Day was held was in 1910.  Father's Day was officially recognized as a holiday in 1972 by President Nixon. 

Father's Day in the U.S. is celebrated on the third Sunday in June.  It celebrates the contributions that fathers and father figures make for their children lives.  Its origins may lie in a memorial service held for a large group of men, many of them fathers, who were killed in a mining accident in Monongah, West Virginia in 1907. 

Many men disdained the holiday.  As one historian writes, they "scoffed at the holiday's sentimental attempts" to domesticate manliness with flowers and gift-giving, or they derided such holidays as a commercial gimmick to sell more products-often paid by the father himself.  lol  Most men I know are like this, but those same men are there for you when you need them. 

In the 1920's and 1930's there was a movement to scrap Mother's Day and Father's Day for a special day to be called Parent's Day.  The Depression derailed the effort to combine and de-commercialized the holidays.  Struggling retailers and advertisers redoubled their efforts Father's Day a "second Christmas" for men, promoting goods such as neckties, hats, socks, pipes and tobacco, golf clubs and other sporting goods and greeting cards.  

When WWII began, advertisers argued that celebrating Father's Day was a way to honor our American troops and support the war effort.  By the end of the war, Father's Day may not have been a federal holiday, but it was a national institution.  Today, economists estimate that Americans spend more than 1 billion dollars each year on Father's Day gifts.

Here are my sources:  http://www.history.com/topics/holidays/fathers-day and http://www.timeanddate.com/holidays/us/fathers-day

I want to wish my sweetie a Happy Father's Day.  Smooch!  Smile!

Thank you for reading my blog this week.  Have a great week, and I'll see you next Sunday. 

Sandra K. Marshall, Author

@ Eirelander Publishing
http://www.eirelanderpublishing.com
http://www.skaymarshall.com      

Crohn's Disease

I became interested in Crohn's disease because I know two people with this disease, and one is my youngest stepson. For this reason I decided I wanted to know more about Crohn's disease. 

You're probably saying to yourself about now:  What is Crohn's disease?   It is one of two diseases of the gastrointestinal tract called Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD).  The other is ulcerative colitis.  Crohn's disease causes inflammation of the digestive tract.  In some people only the last part of the small intestine (ileum) is involved, while in others the large intestine may be affected as well. 

Another question might be:  What are the symptoms of Crohn's disease?  Crohn's symptoms vary but can include bloody bowel movements, severe frequent diarrhea, mouth sores, joint pain, fever, body ache, exhaustion and severe intestinal cramping and pain.

The next question you might ask if you have Crohn's disease is:  How did I get Crohn's?   An exact cause is not known, but if someone in your family has it, you're at risk.  Also, people of European or Jewish descent are at higher risk.  Also, smoking makes Crohn's disease worse. 

If you have Crohn's disease you will need to be on a special diet, have a gastroenterologist and be prepared for a possible Crohn's flare, which is a worsening of the disease.  Stress will worsen this disease, so it is important to stay stress free.  This disease can affect women as well as men, although, the two people I know with it are men. 

Here are two sites to go to if you are interested in learning more about Crohn's disease.  http://www.healthcentral.com/ibd/d/LBLN/living-with-crohns/launch/?ap=1003 and http://www.ccfa.org/

This link will tell you the foods to avoid if you have Crohn's. http://www.healthcentral.com/videos/cf/ibd/crohns-disease-foods-to-avoid?ap=2000

Crohn's disease is not something you can mess around with, and there are no guarantees anything will work, or keep you in remission.  However, there are new studies going on and one such study is in Phase III of the clinical trials.  

Thank you for reading my blog.  Have a great week, and I'll see you next Sunday.

Sandra K. Marshall, Author

@ Eirelander Publishing
http://www.eirelanderpublishing.com
http://www.skaymarshall.com
https://www.facebook.com/sandra.marshall.98
http://www.amazon.com/author/sandramarshall

Happy Birthday To Me

It's party time, and I'm celebrating to be alive.  LOL

June is the month I was born, and since I'm turning the big 7 0 tomorrow I'm going to tell you about the events that happen in June.  For one thing, this is the month when the most weddings are traditionally held.  The flower for June is the white, or cream-colored rose, and the pearl is the birthstone.  

This period was named after Juno, the Roman Goddess.  Also, the sign for June is Gemini until June 21, and then it's Cancer.  Some of the holidays in this month are June 6 when we fly flags for D Day, June 14 is Flag Day, June 15 is Father's Day and Litha known as the summer solstice is 20 through 21st. 

I bet you didn't know this is National Dairy month.  I didn't either.  Also, it is Paul Bunyan month and several others I've never heard of. 

Since, I'm celebrating my birthday this month; I'm going to give some lucky commenter a chance to select one of my e-books by selecting the book they want from my website.  http://www.skaymarshall.com

Thank you for celebrating my birthday with me.  Have a great week, and I'll see you next Sunday. 

Sandra K. Marshall, Author

http://www.eirelanderpublishing.com